Worth Anything At All?
by Mobiuslemniscus
Summary: Rogue breaks under emotional stress and depression, and desperately attempts to end her pain. Can she be saved from herself? Rated for graphic sex and mature themes suicide ; Scott/Jean and maybe later, Logan/Rogue pairing.
1. Chapter 1

Rogue slammed her locker shut. The hallway was empty except for her, and a janitor who was mopping the tiled floor down by the cafeteria. She glanced at the nearest clock, the red digital numbers burning away vividly in the bleak expanse of grey paneling and ceiling tiles. It was 4:30. God, she hated Mr. Pearson. He'd given her another day of detention, just for being late. _And it wasn't even my fault_, she thought angrily. It wasn't _her _fault that everyone was always forgetting about her. It wasn't _her _fault Jean had ridden to school with Scott this morning, instead of giving her a ride like usual.

A part of her knew that she should be more angry with Scott than Jean. But by the time she had stepped out of the front doors and was on her way back to the mansion, Rogue had convinced herself that if it weren't for Jean, she and Scott would be an inseperable couple. He was always flirting with her, after all. And if Jean weren't always in the way; being prettier, being funnier, being more exciting...it was like she tried to be best at the things Rogue lacked most.

The autumn air was crisp and the brightly coloured leaves on the sidewalk crunched beneath Rogue's sneakers as she walked. They were brilliant shades of reds and oranges. She bent down and picked up an exceptionally eye-popping leaf, gold with fiery veins of a dazzling blood-red shooting up through its spine. She studied it carefully, admiring its flawless beauty in the afternoon sunlight.

A car drove by and a half-full paper cup flew out of the window, whizzing past her face by mere inches and hitting the sidewalk, splashing what smelled like root beer all over her leggings and sidebag. "Freak!" She only had a moment to look at the passengers' faces before the car had sped on down the road, but she recognized them as classmates from school. One of them was definitely in her gym class, and she was pretty sure another one was in her chemistry lab...what did it matter, anyway? It wasn't like she was going to do anything about it. No one liked her, not even the teachers.

"And why would they?" She asked aloud as she carefully tucked the leaf into a small pocket on her soda-splattered bag. Kicking the cup into the road, she continued walking. Pretty soon she had reached the gate that marked the edge of the mansion grounds. She was surprised to find Scott's car parked on the side of the road _outside _of the gate. As she reached for the dialpad to punch in the security code to unlock the gate, the muffled sound of voices and the rustling of brush made her turn her head curiously toward the thicket of trees to her left. There was silence. And then...more muffled sounds, and the cracking of twigs, perhaps she could even hear the swishing of a football jacket. Foolishly and against all better judgement, Rogue turned away from the gate and made her way carefully across the grass into the shade of the trees.

The noises were coming from down near the stream. Luckily, Rogue knew her way along the embankments; when she first came to the Institute, she would often sneak out and come along this way to read or simply find some space for herself. There! She saw a glimmer of red hair down a bit farther, in a grove of low shrubs and saplings. Rogue stepped expertly over unearthed roots and carefully manuevered around areas of loose soil, determined to get closer. In all honesty, she didn't know why she was so keen on following Scott and Jean right now. Maybe she was hoping to hear them argue, or to pick up on some gossip, or some hint that Scott had interests in pursuing "someone else", or-

_Oh God_. She had crept down behind a couple large elm trees, and peering between the low, leafy branches, she suddenly had an unobstructed view of the sandy clearing before her. There was certainly more than a football jacket discarded on the ground. An American Eagle t-shirt, a pair of khaki shorts with frayed pockets, red and white checkered boxers, a short denim skirt, an extra-small knitted sweater, a bra, a thong...Jean and Scott were both naked right in front of her eyes, entangled in a knot of limbs and lust.

Scott had Jean half-sitting, half-leaning up against a young birch sapling, strong enough to hold her weight but limber enough to be comfortable and withstand their passionate exhertion. He supported her with one hand clasped around her slender waist, while with the other he was massaging the sensitive region between her thighs with a sort of erotic frenzy. Jean's head was tilted back and her eyes were closed as soft moans escaped her glistening lips. Her face expressed nothing but the deepest of pleasure.

From where she stood, Rogue could see _everything_. She felt as if she were glued to the grass below her feet, unable to tear her eyes away from the scene before her. She took in the rippling muscles in Scott's arm as he kept a steady rhythm. His erection was long and hard, pointing at sharp angle towards the clouds, quivering slightly with the effort he was making. His tan face was slightly flushed and his eyes gleamed with desire, locked onto Jean's graceful, nude body.

As she watched Scott, Rogue was subconsciously getting turned on. Without even thinking about it, one hand had slipped away from the tree trunk and her fingers were pushing up against her clit from underneath her skirt. For a moment, she imagined that she was the one there layed out before him, being caressed so lovingly. But then with a sudden jolt of jealousy and shame, Rogue drew back her hand and the feelings of desire were gone, replaced instead with envy and disgust. This was Jean, not her. The mere idea of it had left her feeling sick before, and now it had become more than just a thought, it was taking place right in front of her.

Yet her gaze would not allow itself to be broken. Now Scott had withdrawn his hand, and Jean had enthusiastically turned around, bent over and leaning forward into the branches of the birch sapling for support. She spread her legs slightly, causing her firm, round ass-cheeks to open up and reveal the shaved, pink lips, practically dripping with moisture. Scott's hands tightened on either side of her waist as he positioned himself eagerly at her entrance. A sound of hungry anticipation escaped Jean's throat. That seemed good enough for Scott. Without a moment of hesitation, he pushed his stiff cock between the velvety folds, crying out in pleasure as they engulfed him without any resistance.

He seemed to know exactly how to give Jean what she wanted. Tilting his hips just slightly to the left, he moved in and out in an almost rotating motion. With each thrust, Jean let out a soft moan, tightening her grip on the branches and crushing a few leaves in the process. Rose-colored patches were blooming on her pale face and spreading down to her shoulders. Her breasts bounced freely back and forth, keeping pace with Scott quickening pace. He reached one hand underneath Jean's body and rubbed her clit fervently, pulling her tighter against him. It brought her to the edge. Jean instantly reached the peak of her orgasm, the smooth folds tightening against Scott's pulsing cock. Her expression twisted in what must have been incredible ecstacy, attempting to muffle the loud moan that escaped her lips.

And then every muscle in Scott's body seemed to grow rigid as he made one final, violent thrust, burying his shaft to the hilt. He held himself against her like that for a few seconds, groaning and breathing heavy, mumbling inaudible words into Jean's ear. Then he pulled out slowly, a creamy string of cum hanging from the tip of his penis. The two of them collapsed into the sand together in a sort of exhausted embrace.

Rogue finally jerked away and snuck quickly back up the embankment. Jean's telepathic powers might have been smothered momentarily by the euphoria of sex, but it would soon return and Rogue didn't really feel like being discovered spying. Though in a way, Rogue didn't even feel as if she had been the intruder...she felt more like _she _herself had been intruded upon. She knew she should have expected to see what she had just witnessed, but out in the open, this close to the institute? Ugh. She tried to block the image from her mind, but their climax kept replaying vividly as if it were burned into her retinas.

But as she punched in the security code and walked through the mansion gate, her feelings of disgust began focusing inward. She stormed through the front door, running smack into Bobby and Allison. For a second she hoped they would sense her unhappiness and ask her what was wrong so she could vent. Instead, Bobby just gave her a reproachful glance and then stepped around her and into the kitchen, where Logan was chugging a bottle of Gatorade. Without a word, Rogue swiftly dashed up the stairs and to her room, slamming the door behind her.


	2. Chapter 2

Rogue had taken the leaf out of her bag and was staring at its palmate divisions laced with the bloody veins, spinning it by its stem between her fingers. From where she was sitting on the floor, she could see Scott's car now coming down the long driveway, making a turn towards the garage and passing out of view. With a sigh, she set the leaf down and stood up. She walked across the room and opened the door just enough to quickly peek into the hallway. No one to be seen. Carefully, she shut the door and locked it with a soft click, then returned to where she had been sitting.

There was a small pocketknife beside the leaf, and she picked it up. The blade was new and it gleamed ominously in the dying light that filtered in through the window. She gently brushed her fingertip along its sharp edge, her heartbeat suddenly picking up speed. Hastily, Rogue tried to swallow her fear and sort things through.

_Don't be so rash_, said one side of her mind. But the other side had a million reasons why she should finish what she was so close to doing. _Nobody would miss me, anyway, _she thought. _Scott has Jean, Kurt has Kitty...none of the other students even talk to me. They just give me dirty looks like Bobby did. Even the adults didn't seem to want her around. _Her eyes filled with tears of frustruation and she choked down a sob. She wasn't going to cry. She was done crying. She was done being a drain on everyone in this institute, she was done being hated and a "freak". She was done having stuff thrown at her, and if the people she _lived _with were just going to ignore her existence, why bother existing at all?

She gripped the handle of the knife tightly. Before she could change her mind, she clenched her jaw and with decisive resoluteness, she sunk the blade of the knife deep into her arm.

- - -

Professor Xavier was making his way through the main entrance when he suddenly gasped and let out a cry of pain, doubling over forward in his wheelchair. Powerful signals of overwhelming distress shot down from the girls' dormitory, eminating from Rogue's room. When she had entered the mansion, he had of course sensed that she was rather upset, but she had gone to her room and he had felt it better not to intrude on her privacy. But now - he fought against the blinding psychological feedback and tried to search her mind.

"Charles?" Logan set his drink down on the kitchen counter and hurried towards him, a worried expression crossing over his rugged features. "Charles, what's wrong?" The Professor could see very little as he entered Rogue's mind; everything was getting cloudy, growing dark. There was a searing pain in the undersides of both his forearms...he could see blood - there was a knife.

Swiftly he looked up with an expression of utmost urgency and horror. "Logan- in her room - Rogue! Do something! Hurry!" Though he had no idea what Charles was talking about, the man's unmasked distress terrified Logan and he ran as fast as he could up the staircase. He thundered down the hallway, skidding to a stop at Rogue's door and knocking over a potted plant in his haste.

He tried the doorknob. It was locked. He pounded his fist against the door. "Kid, open up!" No reply. Sucking in a breath, he stepped back and then kicked the heavy door open with tremendous strength. All along the corridor, students poked their heads out of the rooms and a few quickly jogged up the stairs to see what the commotion was, accompanied by Hank and Storm.

Logan's stomach turned cold as he looked into Rogue's room. She was laying there in the center of the room, surrounded by a blooming pool of blood which was staining the off-white carpet a deep maroon. Her arms were gashed open from the wrists to just below the elbow, her face pale and her body motionless. He let out an involuntary howl of horror and grief as he dropped to his knees beside her body. "Rogue..."

He was too late. But wait. Quickly a thought occured to him. Without any time to consider what the consequences might be, he propped her up so that she was in a sitting position, the palm of one hand pressed tightly against the exposed flesh on the back of her neck while he held onto her bare upper arm with the other hand. Immediately, he felt the energy draining from his own body. _She's alive_, he thought with relief. Weakly, he looked down at her arms and could see the deep wounds meshing themselves back together at a rapid speed. He collapsed onto his side and she fell back down next to him. He forced himself to maintain his grip, though it was becoming increasingly difficult to even keep his eyes open. Before his vision went completely black, he noticed that the color was returning to her cheeks and her eyes snapped open, staring into his with a mixture of fear and confusion.

"Rogue..." His hands released their grip and fell loosely to the floor. With realization sinking slowly in, she stared first at the knife, then at the damp red stain beneath her, and then to the long scars on her arms that had become nearly invisible. She suddenly became aware of a presence in her doorway and looked up quickly to see Beast and Storm cautiously cross the threshold. As Hank lifted Logan from the floor, Storm extended her gloved hand to Rogue, her eyes wide and frightened. "I need you to come with me, honey..."

Rogue did not resist. The students who had gathered in the doorway moved nervously out of her way as she followed Hank and Storm out of the room. They were met at the elevator by Professor X. When he looked up at Rogue, she could see with a jolt in her stomach that his eyes were brimming with tears and his face was creased with anxiety. Storm pushed the button for the subbasement level, and the doors slid shut slowly on the somber group.


	3. Chapter 3

"Professor, do I really have to stay down here?" Rogue sat on the edge of the small bed, her legs dangling over the side, her toes barely touching the tiled floor.

"I know the guidelines seem a little strict, but this one should be the easiest to comply with. Just for tonight. Please understand, everyone is very shaken up by your actions. There will no doubt be gossip and questions asked and I can't imagine there will be any peace for you upstairs among your peers this evening." Professor Xavier had just had a very long talk with Rogue. She had immediately realized how stupid she had been, and though she tried to explain this to the Professor, he had still decided upon a number of restrictions and requirements that she needed to agree to. For example, he had asked that she begin reporting to a minimum of three counseling sessions a week, directly after school, alternating between him and Storm. He also was going to have the lock removed from her door, which she felt was a little extreme but at the same time, she understood his motives. Yet despite these strict curfews and regulations, what bothered her most right now was that he wanted her to stay in the infirmary overnight.

She looked down and mumbled, "I suppose I understand. But...you do believe me, don't you? I mean, if you didn't, you could search my mind...I won't do something like that again. It was stupid. I wasn't thinking right, but that's not the kind of person I am and I know better. Honestly." He patted her on the shoulder gently as he turned to leave the room. "I do believe you Rogue, I know you're telling me the truth. You're going through alot right now. I want to make things easier for you, and I want for you to be happy here. Your physical and psychological safety is extremely important to me. These precautions...they're pretty much compulsory. It would be rather questionable and inappropriate if I did nothing at all to deal with the circumstances." She looked into his eyes and mustered up a smile. "Thank you, Profesor." He returned the smile and headed for the exit. As the glass doors slid open, she called after him. He turned, his face open and patient. "Professor...will Logan be okay?"

He nodded, his face slightly more serious. "He's in stable condition right now. He should recover in no time...however, your powers truly are incredible and had it been anyone but Logan, the situation would probably be much worse. I have a hunch he'll be in to visit you, once he regains his energy."

The doors slid shut and Rogue was left alone in the room. She looked around at the white walls, the chrome cabinets, the flourescent lights, the spotless floor. _Beast must be obsessive compulsive about cleaning_, she thought to herself. In the corner of the ceiling there was a camera and she wondered whether or not anyone was watching her right now, waiting to see if she tried to kill herself again. Not that she had any mind to. And even if she did, it would be pretty hard to do so in this room. There was just the cot, the endtable, a curtain, the cabinets and the counters. Weary and thankful for the tranquility of an empty room, she flopped back down onto the white bedsheet. It was so neatly tucked around the mattress that it seemed almost a crime to wrinkle it.

As her eyes closed and she began to drift in and out of wakefulness, a voice suddenly called through the infirmary doors. "Rogue?" It was Scott. "Do you mind if I come in?" She sat up quickly, scooting up to lean her back against the pillows at the head of the bed. She wanted to say "Yes", she did mind - but Scott entered before she could say anything at all. He pulled a chair over to the foot of her bed and sat down, his brow furrowed concernedly. "Why would you do something like that, Rogue?"

She crossed her arms and looked away at the wall. "What do you care?"

Scott frowned. "I care alot. We _all_ care alot. Jean nearly passed out when she saw all that blood on the floor."

"Psh!" Rogue let out an angry hiss. "Sure, you and _Jean _care a hell of alot. Look, it was a stupid thing to do, I get it. You don't need to lie and try to make me feel better. You guys are too busy ditching me in the morning and screwing each other out in the woods after school to give a shit about me!"

The last sentence slipped out before she could think about it. Scott was too stunned to respond, and for a moment his face darkened as if he were about to yell at her. But then he sighed and simply looked down at his knees. "I, uh - I didn't know you saw...us. And, if that's what this whole thing was about, I'm sorry. I'm real sorry." His eyes were honest as he looked back up into her own. "I like you alot, Rogue! I mean, not romantically...but I like you. You're serious and intelligent and when you say something, I can count on it being genuine and insightful." He paused. "I know I get caught up and distracted with Jean, but I love her and our relationship is very important to me. Still, that doesn't mean I don't want you around. If you were gone...well, who on earth would I play tennis with on the weekends?" He gave her a sad smile.

Rogue felt utterly ashamed, once again. "I'm sorry, Scott. It wasn't only you and Jean, anyway. Everything just got to me at once; problems with teachers and students at school, not having anyone to talk to...I just feel like a freak when I'm around other people. I mean, I can't even touch people. I can't give a high five without gloves on, I have to be careful not to accidentally brush up against someone in a crowd, I can't kiss anyone...if there was anyone to kiss." She looked away again.

"It's okay." Scott stood up. "I'm just glad you're alright now. Everyone is glad. Oh, before I get out of here and give you some space-" he held up her bookbag, which she hadn't noticed until just now. "Storm figured you might get bored down her, so she had me bring you your school stuff. By the way, there's a radio and tv set in the last cabinet, you just gotta hook them up in the outlet over there."

He left the room and once again Rogue was alone. Only this time, at least she had something to do. "Ugh," she said aloud to herself as she stared at her Chemistry homework. Maybe she'd put that off for a little while longer and try to find something good on television, instead...


	4. Chapter 4

Logan felt as if his body was weighted down with lead. His head was throbbing and his vision was swimming as he opened his eyes blearily. The ceiling seemed to spin above him.

What had happened? He tried to sort out all of the thoughts in his head. He had blacked out. The Professor had been upset - Rogue. Everything fell into place clearly. And now with a feeling of great anxiety, he wondered if she was okay. He tried to reason with himself as he lay there on the stiff mattress. She _must _be okay. He had seen her wounds mending themselves just before he had gone unconscious. He'd transferred his healing abilities to her, so she should be fully recovered. Still, he wanted to see for himself that Rogue was alright.

Logan made to get off the cot and go find her. But as he sat up, a sudden wave of pain in his temple made him shout in surprise. Clutching his forehead and wincing, he fell back onto the clean white sheets beneath him. The pain receeded in a few short moments and he tentatively made another attempt to push himself up. Once again it was like a bullet through his skull, and he was forced to lay motionless until the sharp stabbing had become a dull throb.

This time, however, the pain was accompanied by a stream of images that flashed through his mind; a playground, the sound of children jeering, a teacher yelling and trying to restore order, a moving van, a man and a woman arguing. And then it was gone.

He lay there, unwilling to risk any more pain and trying to figure out what had just happened. None of what he had just seen was familiar to him. It was as though he had experienced a glimpse of someone else's memories...it was plausible, he thought, that he had absorbed some of Rogue's memories.

It happened again. This time it lasted much longer and he felt a strange sensation in his body, as if he was being gently pulled into someone else's mind. "I didn't hurt him! I don't know what happened!" The words poured from his lips but the voice belonged to a girl, frightened and anxious. The body of a young boy flashed before Logan's eyes momentarily, sprawled out at the base of a blue plastic slide, the eyes rolled back in his skull and his breath coming out in short jerks.

Then he was in a hospital bed, not unlike the cot he was actually laying on right now. But the atmosphere was tense and a man and woman - the ones who had been yelling earlier - stood looking in through a glass window. His hands were chained to the railing of the bed and a doctor looked at him sternly, holding a long needle against his arm. "This is going to hurt, but I want you to be still."

It seemed like a million more memories passed through his mind before the stream finally ended. He felt exhausted as he sifted through what he had seen through her eyes. Most of the memories had not been too surprising, though they made him feel a much deeper feeling of sympathy for Rogue. The kid had really had a rough life. But some of the memories _had _shocked him a little; for instance, he felt a little uncomfortable after seeing the events that had unfolded today. He had almost literally walked home in her shoes after detention, he felt as if he was the one who had been called a "freak", he was the one who had seen Scott and Jean, he was the one who had driven a knife into his arm. He had even felt the sharp sting of the blade.

He had been there motionless for about an hour. He wished there was a clock in the room, but his growling stomach was telling him that it must be about dinnertime. Groaning, he rolled slowly over to his side and once more he raised himself into a sitting position. This time, there was no pain. The memories seemed to have concluded themselves, leading up to the point that he had found Rogue, and now he supposed the effects of their brief contact were wearing off.

Up until this point, Logan had not noticed that he was dressed in infirmary clothing; loose, blue drawstring pants and a white button-up cotton shirt. "What the fuck?!" He exclaimed loudly as he stood up and looked down at himself. For a moment, he felt like hunting Hank down and tearing his head off. But then he noticed that his jeans and shirt were folded and sitting on the stand at the end of his bed. He chuckled as he changed. Hank could be a real character...but he still might have to tear his head off. Was it really necessary to undress him, after all?

"What a freak," Logan muttered as he stepped into the subbasement hallway. He saw light coming from under the neighboring room's door, and as he came closer, he could hear what sounded like a hockey game. He smiled as he raised his hand to the intercom controls. He hoped the Ottawa Senators were kicking ass right now.

- - -

The speaker on the far wall crackled on once more. Rogue's heart jumped at the hope that it would be Logan, and yet she was also afraid to see him after what had happened this afternoon.

"I'm comin' in to see if my team's winnin', kid." The door slid open a second later, and Logan poked his head around the doorway before stepping fully into the room. "Dammit," he said as he sat down in the chair that Scott had brought over to her bed. "The Senators are down by five? You'd better be rooting _them _on, or I'm gonna have to pick a fight with ya, right here." He jabbed a finger playfully in her direction, then looked at her a little more seriously and leaned forward in his seat. "Are you going to be alright?"

She felt ashamed and looked away, staring down at the gleaming floor. "Yeah...I know what I did was real stupid. I mean _real _stupid." She snuck a glance at him, her eyes full of remorse. "I'm sorry for putting you and everyone else through such an awful situation." Rogue hoped he would believe her, because she was already getting tired of having to convince people that she was aware of how rash and inconsiderate her actions had been.

Thankfully, Logan looked as if he believed her and didn't seem to feel the need to push the subject by saying something like "Are you sure?" or "If you need anything...". He _did_ shift as if he wanted to put a hand on her shoulder, but in the end he remained where he was. "Don't worry too much about it. I'm just glad you're okay." His eyebrows were slightly furrowed. "I don't know what I would have done if-"

Logan broke off and cleared his throat, looking firmly at the screen. "Hey, Mike Fisher just scored a goal! That guy always pulls through for 'em." There was a long silence as they both forced themselves to watch the game. At the beginning of a commercial break, however, Rogue thought of something to bring up.

"A little while ago I was sitting here and I...started seeing visions." She knew she had probably worded the sentence strangely, but Logan almost seemed to know what she was talking about. "They were like bits and pieces of memories." She paused. "_Your_ memories."

He nodded and looked into her eyes. "I had the same thing happen. I saw little clips from your life...I guess it was an after-effect from when we 'connected'". He was quiet for a moment, and then shook his head in dismay, his eyes dark. "I don't have alot of pleasant memories. I'm sorry you had to experience 'em. I can't imagine it was too fun."

Rogue shrugged. "It's not your fault. And most of it, well, I figured out it was you pretty quickly. I've heard you talk about S.H.I.E.L.D before...and I know about the Weapon X experiments, and your claws." She tried to hide her own shudder as she remembered what she had seen. "After all, I'm not the one who _actually _had to go through that stuff. I should be saying sorry to you, 'cause you're the one it all happened to."

He laughed and his face lightened up a little. "This could go back and forth all day. How about we both decide _not _to be sorry, and just cheer on the Senators instead. They've still got another whole period to get back on top." She smiled, glad to have his company. Logan felt the same way about being with Rogue. He had even already forgotten that he was hungry, and the tension in the room eased considerably as Mike Fisher lived up to Logan's compliment and practically won the game for his team.


	5. Chapter 5

Bap! The tennis ball smacked against Rogue's racket and flew back across the room. On the other side of the net, Logan had to dive in order to volley it back over in her direction. It came right at her and she made the shot with ease. In his dive however, Logan had lost his balance and couldn't recover quickly enough to keep her from scoring the tie-breaking point. He groaned.

Rogue threw her hands up in victory, grinning ear to ear. "Am I wearing you out yet?" She came around the net over to where Logan was sitting on the floor. She extended a gloved hand. He looked up and scowled playfully before accepting her offer. "Alright, alright. You won this time, I'll admit it. But I've beat you before, so don't get too cocky." He tossed his racket into the basket in the corner of the room.

Rogue watched him as he pushed his hair back and wiped the sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand. She thought about how she and Scott used to play tennis in here almost every day after school. But lately he'd been too busy to spend very much time with her. He was always off somewhere with Jean; cheering her on at all of her soccer games, going out to the movies, hanging out at parties, cuddling on the couch in the evening. And the truth was that Rogue didn't really even care anymore. After all, why would she waste her time on someone who wasn't interested in her?

"Hey, whatcha thinkin'? You look like you're deep in thought over there." Logan's voice brought Rogue back to the present. Embarassed, she realized she'd been staring at his muscular torso, and prayed to God that he hadn't noticed. "Nothing." She grinned up at him. "Just savoring the victory, and thinking about how bad I'm gonna beat you next time."

He shot her a look of feigned offense. "Well, I never! You've got way too much ego, kid. You know that?" Glancing at his watch, Logan sucked in his breath. "Almost dinnertime. It's chicken quesadillas tonight - I can smell 'em." He jerked his head towards the door. "Let's get a move on, I'm starving."

For a brief second, he pressed his hand ever so slightly against her back in a subconscious gesture of directing her towards the exit. The feel of his sturdy fingers sent an electric thrill through her body, and a part of her wished that the soft cotton fabric of her t-shirt wasn't between her skin and his. But then his hand was gone and he had walked ahead of her so he could hold open the door.

She and Logan made their way together through the subbasement towards the elevator. The two of them had grown much closer over the past few weeks. Once she got over how much he liked to tease and act tough, she really enjoyed spending time with him. He was alot of fun to be around and it always seemed like he was enthusiastically available if she wanted some company. Not to mention she felt like she could be herself when she was around him. With Scott, she'd always had to try so hard just to keep him interested. Plus, Logan was a better match when it came to tennis.

Rogue fell back a couple steps as they walked down the hallway, and she allowed herself another opportunity to size him up. He was wearing a sleeveless, black underarmor shirt and the flourescent lights reflected perfectly on the material, outlining every one of his muscles as they rippled gently with the rhythm of his gait. She felt they reached the elevator far too soon, and as he pushed the button for the first floor he looked her direction and she had to quickly tear her eyes away from his body.

"You ever see the movie Die Hard, kid?" She shook her head no. He didn't look surprised, but he did seem to have an air of smugness. "Classic 1980's action flick. You haven't really lived until you've seen Bruce Willis kickin' some German ass. Turns out Hank has a copy so I borrowed it. I was going to watch it tonight, and I was wondering if you wanted to join me."

Rogue shrugged and gave him a nonchalant, "Sure thing. I'll give it a shot." But inside she was extremely happy to have an opportunity to spend more time with Logan. Not that anything was going to transpire between them...even if something _could _happen, his intentions were pure and ventured no further than a desire for friendly companionship. The elevator reached the first floor and the doors slid open. Logan stepped briskly out of the small compartment and looked around, his expression alert and his voice gruff. "Shit. Everyone's already in the kitchen. There better be some food left for me!"

Logan needn't have been worried. Ororo had set aside a plate just for him and now he sat across the table from Rogue, happily scarfing down his third quesadilla. Rogue shook her head in disbelief. She didn't think she could even finish the _one _that she had on her own plate.

Suddenly, the Professor's voice rang out clear in her head. "Rogue, I'd like to talk to you after dinner if you don't mind. Just stay back after the table is cleared, it will only take a moment of your time." She jumped slightly and startled Kurt, who was sitting beside her. "Vat's up?!" Rogue shook her head and waved off his concern. "Nothing, I just caught my breath for a second." When Kurt had gone back to sinking his teeth into the cheesy tortilla, she peered down the table towards the Professor. He seemed to be deeply engaged in a conversation with Hank, but he glanced quickly in her direction and gave her a small wink.

Rogue did what Professor Xavier said, and ate slow so she could hang back while Ororo cleared the dishes from the table. As everyone else filtered from the room, the Professor beckoned for her to come over to where he was sitting at the end of the table. "I've been working with Forge for the past couple months on creating a new-" Logan poked his head through the doorway. "Oh," he said, seeing Rogue and the Professor. "If this is a bad night to watch the movie, I can wait 'til tomorrow..." For a split second, Rogue almost sensed a hint of sadness in his voice. But the Professor just smiled knowingly. "Don't worry, you'll have Rogue back in just a couple minutes. I just wanted to talk to her for a moment." Logan looked relieved and his head disappeared around the doorframe.

"I'll cut straight to the point." Professor Xavier reached into the pocket of his jacket and pulled out a necklace with large, round beads. "Here," he said, holding it out to her. She looked at him, confused. "What...?" He chuckled. "It's a power suppressor; it works much in the same way that Kurt's image inducer makes him look 'normal'. Forge has been helping me design this for you - basically, it will allow you to live without worrying about avoiding direct physical contact with others. A handshake, a hug, a...tennis match." He smiled up at her. "I know it may look a little gaudy, but as far as I can tell, that's the style these days." She examined the necklace. Truly, it was nice. The beads were large but they weren't heavy, and they shimmered a deep metallic red.

The Professor watched her expression hopefully. As if in a dream, she reached up and clasped it around her neck. It fit just right, not too tight but not loose enough to bounce around or come off without being unhooked. "So...so I can-?" He nodded, rolling back from the table and extending his hand invitingly. Nervously, she pulled off one of her gloves and reached out, ever so lightly placing her hand against his outstretched palm. Nothing. She couldn't suppress a gasp. It worked.

"Th-thank you." He gave her hand a small squeeze and then turned to leave. "I'm glad to be of any help, Rogue." She stood in the dining room for a moment alone, and then with sudden haste took the necklace off. It was too much, at least right now. She hadn't been able to touch someone else in so long...it just seemed, unnatural. Knowing Logan would be waiting for her in the living room, Rogue quickly dashed up the stairs and slipped into her room for a moment. She opened the drawer to her bedstand and dropped the necklace in, giving it one more long look before shutting the drawer.

"Finally!" Logan exclamed as Rogue skidded into the living room. "I was about ready think that you were going to stand me up." She sat down on the other end of the couch and he shot her a long look as he reached for the TV remote. "What was that all about, if you don't mind my asking?"

She shrugged and tried to fix her expression into something unconcerned and mellow. "Oh, he just wanted to talk about a Danger Room session that I need to make up. No big deal. Thanks for waiting." He looked content with her answer and leaned back into the pillow on his end of the couch. The FBI warning flashed on the television for a couple seconds, and then the beginning of a preview. "I'll be right back, I forgot the popcorn." Logan got up and walked into the kitchen.

Rogue could hear him rummaging around in the cupboards. She tried not to think about the necklace, or what it could mean for her relationships with others...No. She didn't want to think about it at all right now. What she really wanted to do was just sit back, share some popcorn with Logan, and enjoy a movie. With great effort, she tried to clear her mind of any distracting thoughts. She could worry about those later. But now Logan was plopping a bowl of popcorn between them and it was time to relax and watch Die Hard.


	6. Chapter 6

"Grab your mittens," Kurt called cheerfully from outside the closed door. "We're all gonna go sledding!" Rogue rolled over on her mattress and groaned as she stuck a slip of paper in between the pages of the book she had been reading. She wasn't quite sure she had recovered from the _last _sledding excursion. Nonetheless, she got up and started searching around for her jacket and snow pants.

Most of the other students had already gone outside by the time Rogue stepped into the hallway. She shut the door behind her and carried her boots downstairs, one in each hand, letting them dangle by their laces. She headed towards the garage, planning to put on her boots once she was there.

"Hey Logan!" Kurt's voice rang out from the living room, and Rogue backtracked down the hall, kneeling down outside the doorway. She put on her boots and laced them up slowly so she could listen to the conversation.

"Save it, furball. I don't want to go out into the snow this afternoon." Rogue peered momentarily around the frame of the door. Logan was relaxing on the couch, looking bemusedly at Kurt who was perched on top of the TV.

"Aww, you're no fun!" Kurt pouted and scrunched his eyebrows together in a pathetic attempt to make Logan change his mind.

"Neither is getting snow crammed down my pants on Christmas. Now scram, I can't see the score!" Kurt shot Logan a sulky glare and disappeared in a puff of smoke. The next instant, he reappeared right where Rogue was still kneeling and fell over backwards onto her. "Ouch!" Kurt scrabbled to his feet. "Vat are you doing?!" Rogue pushed her hair out of her face and climbed to her feet. "I _was _lacing up my boots, before you decided to turn me into a pancake." Kurt shrugged, then tugged on her sleeve anxiously. "Come _on_, let's go! We're the last ones still here."

To be honest, Rogue didn't really want to go outside. And now that Logan wasn't going, she'd much rather be inside the mansion with him anyway. Gently, she pulled her hand away from Kurt. "You go ahead. Don't wait up for me. I'm going to try and find my good coat...this one is thin and I don't want to get cold." Kurt frowned but didn't bother to push the subject like he had done with Logan. "Okay. Maybe you'll come out later?" He cocked his head to one side imporingly before teleporting once again, leaving Rogue alone in the hallway.

She sighed and slowly made her way back to her dorm room. She didn't bother to shut the door as she changed back out of her winter layers. For once, Kurt hadn't been exagerating; there was literally no one else inside right now except for her and Logan. Even the Professor had gone outside to partake in the merriment. She peered through her window blinds. The others were already a good quarter mile from the mansion, trudging their way through the snow towards the sledding hill at the far edge of the institute grounds.

The blinds snapped back into place as Rogue turned away from the window and walked over to her bedstand. She pulled open the top drawer and stared at the innocent necklace that sat by itself in the otherwise empty confines. The ruby colored beads glowed softly in the warm light from her lamp. For nearly three weeks now it had been stowed away in the drawer, and yet she still had not used it, worn it, or even taken it out of its hiding place. But now...

Rogue walked back over to the window and checked once more. She felt relieved to see that everyone was way out on the hill now, hardly anything more than black specks hurdling down the snowy embankment. It would undoubtedly be a long while before they began trekking back inside for dinner. She wasn't sorry at all, however, that she was missing an afternoon of sledding. Grabbing the necklace, Rogue slipped back out of her room and down the stairs. There was only one person she wanted to see right now, and she had a pretty good feeling she knew where he could be found.

Sure enough, she found him still lounging on the couch in the living room. He was watching a hockey game, his feet stretched out lazily on the coffee table in front of him. The volume was up loud enough that at first her approach went unnoticed. But as she stepped past the lamp behind the couch, her shadow slid across the wall and he jerked his head around to see who it was.

"Rogue!" He seemed surprised, though he sounded happy to see her. "I thought you were going sledding." She noticed a hint of curiousity in his statement. "Nah...I don't like bein' out in the cold. New York's nothin' like Mississippi." She watched the replay of a shot being blocked on the television. Logan smiled warmly and patted the cushion next to him. "I don't blame yeh. C'mon, you can keep me company. Maybe if you help me cheer on the Senators, they'll start winning."

They sat together for a few minutes and watched the goalie block shot after shot. At the commercial break, Logan suddenly shifted his position so he could look at Rogue without turning his neck so much. "I've been meaning to thank you for the Christmas present you gave me. With all the chaos of opening gifts this morning, I didn't get the chance to tell you how much I appreciated those gloves."

Rogue looked down at her hands and blushed slightly. "It was nothing."

"It _was _something!" Logan was still looking at her. He hadn't even noticed that the game was back on and that the Senators had scored a goal. "How did you know I wanted riding gloves?"

Rogue shrugged and smiled. "I overheard you talking to Storm before school a couple weeks ago. You mentioned the Leather Outlet down the street and said something about needing new gloves for riding your motorcycle in the spring."

He grinned at her. "Didn't anyone tell you eavesdropping is rude? Between you and me though, I'm glad you did. Oh look, they scored a goal!" And then he immersed himself once more into the game. Rogue thought it was funny how animated he could get about hockey. Logan tried so often to seem calm, collected, and tough around the students and staff, but he was a total sucker for his favorite canadian sports teams.

A couple more minutes passed as the sound of skidding ice-skates and an excited crowd filled their ears. All the while, Rogue's thoughts raced and her heart fluttered nervously. She had resolved to do this...this _thing _that she had wanted to do for so long, but she just didn't know how to begin. And though she was determined and prepared for whatever the outcome was, doubt still ate away at the corners of her mind. What if she was about to ruin everything?

"There's something else, too." The words finally wrestled their way from between her lips. Logan snapped back into reality and looked over at her curiously. Rogue slipped the long gloves from her delicate hands and laid them gently on the table before turning to face Logan. He had tensed up and was looking at her with wary eyes. "Dont worry," she said quietly. "See this necklace? The Professor made it for me...it's like Scott's visor or Kurt's image projector. I could touch you right now, and nothing would happen. Nothing at all."

Logan did not move or say anything but he did raise his eyebrows slightly. Rogue didn't want to think too hard about what that could mean, and without another moment's hesitation she leaned forward and locked her bare arms around the back of his neck in a warm hug.

He couldn't keep from flinching and he let out a small cry of fear, anticipating the sudden drain of energy that had always happened before. But seconds passed, and cautiously he looked into her eyes. She released him from the embrace, but left one hand to rest on his arm. "That's - that's amazing, Rogue. That's great. That's..." Logan trailed off. In the brief moment that her arms had been wrapped around him, he had felt a strange emotion stir inside of him. It both scared him and enlivened him at the same time, and now he just wished that she was still pressed up close against his body. Tentatively, he extended an arm and pulled her back into another embrace.

The seconds passed and finally they broke apart. His eyes lingered on her supple young breasts for a little longer than he planned. Suddenly her hand cupped his chin and lifted his face so that his eyes met hers. They were full of desire and nervous excitement. "Maybe we could find out just _how_ well this thing really works..." she trailed off suggestively, and he was unsure of what to say, or what to think. Taking his lack of response as a cue to continue, she leaned in and her lips crashed into his with passionate force. Reflexively, his hands rose from the seat cushion and grasped her waist tightly as she climbed over his legs and straddled him seductively.

She parted her lips and her tongue slipped its way between his own lips and into his mouth. As their tongues waged a slippery battle for dominance, a war was being fought inside his mind. She was young, she was a student, she was supposed to be under his care and protection - he wasn't supposed to be allowing this sort of thing to happen - Oh God. Her hand was now underneath his shirt, caressing his firm stomach and the narrow tuft of soft hair that spread upwards from far below the beltline of his jeans. Her kisses grew even more impassioned as her fingers fumbled eagerly at the fastening of his jeans-

"Mmmh...Rogue!" He jerked his head to one side and gasped for breath as she stared at him with anxious lust and anticipation. Her fingers continued to work at the button and he had to grab her wrists to keep her from getting any further ahead. "Not here- someone will come inside and see us. I...we shouldn't even be-" She dismounted from his lap and his hips jerked involuntarily forward with desire. "You want this as much as I do, Logan." She tugged his arm and obediantly he stood up, following her as she pulled him down the hallway towards the elevator. "I know one place we can go."

Though Logan still wouldn't allow her to unbutton his pants quite yet, Rogue did succeed in the thirty seconds of elevator privacy to remove his shirt. He drew ragged breaths as her tongue traced wet circles around his collarbone, trying hard not to reveal how much it tickled, or how much it was turning him on. Then the doors were sliding open and before them was the X-Jet, sitting there with its tinted windows beckoning to the two of them. Rogue held onto his wrist and pulled him swiftly up the ramp. Even in their haste, however, he remembered to close the hatch door behind them.

Rogue threw herself down onto the extended seat in the rear of the cabin and spread her legs invitingly. He climbed on top of her, finally allowing her scrabbling hands to unfasten his jeans and relieve the strain that his growing erection was causing to the fabric _and_ to his own physical comfort. As her fingers teased the region beneath the waistband of his briefs, he let one of his hands wander below her skirt. Heat was radiating through the thin material of her thong and Logan had to force himself to not just pull her underwear off right now. Instead, he brought his hand back to her breasts and squeezed them lightly before snaking his firm hands underneath her shirt. She got the message and wiggled herself out from the tight-fitting cotton confines. At the same time, he kicked off his jeans and Rogue mimicked him, slipping her skirt off with ease. She unclasped her bra and gracefully tossed it aside.

He beheld the sheer splendor of her body. She wasn't too thin or too heavy; she was feminine and delicate, with perfect curves in all the right places. He'd never really taken the time to think about what she would look like without clothes, but now here she was and Logan thought she was probably the most beautiful young woman he could ever have imagined.

Logan knelt down, his head level with her hips, running soft kisses all across her lower abdomen. His stubble tickled her skin and she squirmed underneath him with impatient longing. "Don't be a _tease_, Logan," she moaned. "I want you _inside _me." Boy, this girl knew exactly what she wanted, and that was something he really loved in a woman. Chuckling, he hooked his fingers around the strip of fabric that hugged her elegant hips and just barely covered the small mound between her thighs. The thong slipped off without any trouble and it fell to the floor of the jet, among the other articles of clothing that lay scattered there.

Her pink outer lips were swollen, shaved smooth except for a tiny square strip just above her clit. He rubbed his thumb up and down her slit, thankful for how wet and slippery she already was. The mere touch of his fingers made her arch her back and he felt his cock get even harder, if that was even possible. _How long had it been?, _he thought to himself as he found the sensitive bud and stroked it expertly. He couldn't even remember the last time he had been with a woman. It had been years. And of course with Rogue...well, he could be certain she'd_ never_ been with anyone. Yet despite her lack of sexual experience, she sure was confident. Her fingers were scrabbling lustfully at the bulge still trapped inside his briefs. Not wanting to tease any longer, he withdrew his hand and hastily freed himself from the last of his clothing.

His cock quivered, stiff and erect, fully prepared for what was next. Logan positioned himself between her shapely legs, with one knee against the seat for support. He reminded himself to take it slow as he pushed against the tight entrance. But she reached around and grabbed his hips, pulling him forcefully forward. "Come _onnn_," she said through clenched teeth. "I want you inside me _now_." He didn't dare protest, nor did he want to. With a thrust he pushed himself deep inside, a moan escaping his throat as her tight, wet folds swallowed him whole.

Rogue bit her lip and Logan immediately froze, feeling bad for hurting her. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean-" she pulled him close and cut him off with a deep kiss, wiggling her hips to indicate that she wanted him to keep going. "Don't worry. You feel amazing," she mumbled distantly against the side of his face. Tentatively, he pulled a little ways out and then pushed himself once more into her heavenly depths. This time she did not wince and, feeling much better about the whole situation, he began rocking against her in a steady, passionate rhythm.

The velvet feel of Rogue's tight canal and the soft moans that escaped her lips could have sent him over the edge right there and then. But Logan was determined to make her first time the greatest it could possibly be. He focused on her pleasure, angling his hips for maximum penetration. She was unbelievably wet and his balls slapped loudly against her full, round ass each time he thrust forward. Her fingertips dug into his shoulders and her breaths became more ragged as she got closer and closer to climax. He thrust harder and faster, and then suddenly he felt her muscles contract around his cock and saw the expression of utter pleasure on her face as she caught her breath and peaked. He held on for a moment longer before quickly pulling out and exploding his cum all over her soft, pale stomach.

Logan collapsed on the seat beside Rogue, exhausted. He listened to her breath slowly return to a normal pace, and became aware of her fingers entwining themselves in his hair. For a moment, he felt he could fall asleep right there, but then with a start he remembered where they both were. He sat up and grabbed the nearest article of clothing, her bra, and lightly tossed it towards Rogue. "We should probably get dressed, eh?" He was afraid to make eye contact. Now that everything was said and done, it seemed strange to be sitting here naked with her.

They both got dressed without any exchange of words. But as he pulled his shirt over his head, Rogue walked over and lightly placed her hands on his hips, looking him straight in the eyes. "That was really great, Logan. I...well, I wouldn't have done that if I didn't...I mean, what I'm trying to say is that I think I -" He roughly pulled her in for a deep kiss, cutting off her already broken attempt at a sentence. "I think I know what yer tryin' to say, darlin'. And to be honest, I think I feel the same way." He opened his mouth to complete the thought, but suddenly he found he was also choking on his words. He smiled a little and gave her a smaller, gentler kiss. "Looks like we _both_ need some practice when it comes to usin' that word." He squeezed her hand and this time it was his turn to pull her along behind him. "Let's get back to that hockey game before somebody comes looking for us."


End file.
